


The Dish and the Spoon

by localghostgirl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: ;), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M, Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), Not Beta Read, THIS IS NOW BETA READ, more tags to come, no like seriously, please help me, so go say thank you by reading her wolfstar fic, someone teach me how to tag lol, wolfstar, you have monumentalmarauder to thank for that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-06-26 11:47:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15662625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/localghostgirl/pseuds/localghostgirl
Summary: “You like books?” Came a voice beside Remus that he didn’t notice was there. Remus jumped, nearly dropping the book in his hands, and whipped his head towards the voice a little too fast. His head swims.“Uh, yeah. I looove reading,” he slurred like the nervous and drunk mess that he is. “Do you think someone’d notice if I stole a couple?” And he doesn’t realize he’s said it out loud until the guy next to him laughs loudly.“Nah. I say go for it.” He has this mischievous glint in his eyes that makes Remus want to step back and consider what he’s about to do, but, alas, he’s drunk, and stealing a few books sounds like a right idea. “You’ve had some of Peter’s cowboy koolaid, haven’t you?” The Man asked without missing a beat.Remus has to think, and, no, he doesn’t remember drinking anything, but he also doesn’t remember how he got wherever he is. He has one thing on his mind and that’s how he’s going to get away with an armful of book without anyone noticing. The Man is still looking at him, as if waiting for an answer, and Remus remembers that he asked him something. He furrowed his brow. “What the fuck is cowboy koolaid?”





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! I just wanted to mention that I am an American girl trying to write about British boys and university, which both I know nothing of. So please bear with me while I attempt at using British terms/lingo. This is also not beta read lol. (PS, Remus and Sirius will be meeting next chapter- this is just a weird introduction thingy?)

“No.” 

“Remy, please.”

Remus flinched at the nickname. “No. I said I don’t want to go.”

“And I don’t want to go alone, Remus. Please. I know that you don’t like crowds, and I asked Peter and he told me that it’s just going to be a couple of people. Lowkey, you know? That kind of party.” A pause. Then: “I just don’t want to go alone.”

Remus stared at Dorcas, his jaw moving to the left a little in uncertainty. His brain was turning out scenarios that all ended badly. The only good ending was the one where he stayed in the comforts of his own apartment. 

But Dorcas was asking him, and as much as he hated parties and just about every other form of social interaction outside of his very small friend group, Remus didn’t want to make Dorcas go to a party alone when she was asking him to go with her. In fact, Remus didn’t think she had ever asked him anything of the sort, besides the first time they met, and that was because she didn’t know how hermit-like he was. (And he actually wouldn’t mind getting to meet this so called Peter that she had been raving to him about for the past couple of months. He just wished it was over tea or something.)

He avoided looking into her eyes and gave a defeated nod. “Fine. But I’m not drinking. I’ve class in the morning.”

Her face lit up in her apparent surprise. Remus thought for a split second that maybe Dorcas didn’t expect him to actually say yes that quickly, if at all. “Yeah! Yeah, no! Of course you don’t have to drink. Ooh, this is going to be so much fun! Thank you so much, Remus!” Dorcas gave Remus a squeeze and her face did that thing where it scrunched up just a little bit when she was excited about something. “It starts at seven tonight, but I don’t get off until seven-thirty, so we’ll be a little bit late-“ Remus tensed at the word late, so Dorcas put out her hands in what was supposed to be a calming gesture, almost like calming a wild dog. Remus did not like being late to anything and Dorcas knew that. He would much rather be anxiously early than fashionably late any day, thank you very much. “-but that’s how it is with parties, anyways, so it works out perfectly. I’ll come straight back here after and we’ll leave. Make sure you’re ready to go when I get here, Rem.” 

“When am I not, love?” He answered back, trying to humor her. “Now go. Your shift starts in-“ Remus checked his phone. “-twenty eight minutes. Run.” 

Dorcas only laughed and sauntered out of Remus’s apartment. The last thing he saw of her was her braided black hair trailing out the door before she shut it behind her. 

 

XXX

 

Remus was ready a good hour before the party even started, and, true to her word, Dorcas showed back up at his apartment after her shift at the convenience store by her flat was over and done with. She wasn’t wearing the same pair of jeans and t-shirt that she was earlier, and she definitely wasn’t in work clothes. Remus figured that she brought an extra outfit with her and changed after her shift was done. (If Remus was thankful for anything that day, it was Dorcas’s careful planning.) She has on a pair of black ripped jeans that were so shredded you could see the pocket linings and a red off-the-shoulder blouse that really complemented her smooth, brown skin and faint traces of collar bones hidden behind baby fat that still desperately clung to her in some places. 

She opened the door to his flat, yelled, “Get in loser, we’re going shopping!” before sauntering back out to her car, Remus following after her, only stopping to lock his flat door and tell his fat cat bye. 

“I thought you said we were going to a party.” Remus smiled and piled into her 2007 silver Honda Accord that she kept relatively clean. If you pressed your nose to the seats, you could still smell the cigarette smoke from the previous owner. 

“Oh, shut up. I didn’t want to ruin the quote. It’s iconic.” Dorcas grinned at him. 

“You say that every single time you pick me up, Dorcas.” 

“Why are you calling me out like this? I thought you loved me.” She looked at Remus and back at the road with her hand over her heart as if hurt. 

Remus only chuckled and Dorcas turned up the radio at a stop light. The drive to the party was filled with her singing along to whatever Hits 1 was playing, Remus humming to the few he recognized from his time spent with Dorcas. (Remus learned that she studied better with pop music playing softly in the background. She said it helped her remember the material during tests.) (Remus couldn’t study with music on, but he didn’t tell her that. He had some suspicions that Dorcas only studied when they studied together, so he let her play music without complaint if that’s what helped her.) 

She turned onto a street with tall flat buildings on both sides that looked humongous and new and never had dripping pipe problems like what Remus’ flat had. She parked under a row on trees in front of a building marked E 218 and she and Remus undid their seat belts and got out. 

“They’re the third floor. Let’s go.” Dorcas said and walked towards the glass doors with pretty white wood frames, shoes hardly making a sound on the pavement even though she was incredibly heavy-footed. 

Remus did not mention how nice the building was. But he did, however, self-consciously pull on his jumper a little and fiddle with the bottom of it. (A bad habit he had ten years in the making.) He felt underdressed just gazing up at the building. He followed Dorcas inside and into the elevator that didn’t shudder when the doors closed like the one at Remus’ flat so often did. (The doors had once gotten stuck and he had a panic attack. The elevator only moved when someone on the floor two above him clicked the button to call for it. Needless to say, he takes the stairs now.) 

Remus could hear the music already when the doors opened. Dorcas led him to the end of the hallway on their left and knocked on the door using the knocker. It swung open and revealed a guy Remus assumed was about his age. He quite possibly has the messiest hair that Remus had ever seen in his entire life. “Dorcas! Come on in. I think Peter’s on the couch.” The boy didn’t stand around long enough to give Remus his name, as there was loud cheering behind him and he looked over his shoulder before turning and running to the heart of the loud noise. 

The party was, by no means, small. Remus wanted to throttle Dorcas and ask her how in God’s name she thought this counted as small. The front room was packed and Remus was willing to bet that it got more populated the further in you went. 

“Remus?” He heard Dorcas say. She waved him inside. “Are you coming?” 

He looked at her, met her eyes with a nervous smile that she mistook as genuine, then nodded and surged into the flat. He felt his fate for the evening seal with the click of the door shutting behind him. 

There was no getting out of it now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus loses Dorcas and gets drunk. Cue Sirius’ introduction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys!!! It’s been quite a while and I have a few things so say!!  
> 1) THIS WORK IS NOW BEING BETA’D BY THE AMAZING MONUMENTALMARAUDER!!! (ALSO: She has a wolfstar fic of her own that I highly suggest reading- It’s called “I’m Completely Sirius, Are You?” SO GO READ IT RIGHT THIS MOMENT!!  
> 2) I am so sorry for how late this chapter is. (And I am especially sorry to the commenter from last chapter that I told chapter two would be out soon-ish. I apparently don’t know the meaning of “soon”) I’ll try and pump out chapter three quicker.  
> 3) I’m back in school and I have homework every night, so writing will be harder, but I will get it done. Don’t worry.  
> 4) I DO NOT own HP. I am not JKR.(Lol just in case. You can never be too safe.) Also!! The name of this fic is from a movie of the same name. I really suggest watching the movie. It has nothing to do with the fic lol I just really like the movie (Be prepared to cry though)  
> 5) I’d like to thank everyone that came back to give chapter two a read!! You’re awesome! Thank you!! And if you’re new, welcome! 
> 
> Anywho. I hope that everyone enjoys!

Remus wanted to clutch his head and tear his hair out in anxiety. How on God’s green earth was this party lowkey?

(It was at this time that Remus’ brain told him that Dorcas had a huge friend group, so to her, this probably was lowkey.)

People were squished onto a couch and armchairs, in some cases sitting on someone else’s lap if the arm of the couch was already taken. Others were gathered around a large white plastic table that looked like it was used for bake sales or something, playing a rather loud game of beer pong. 

Following Dorcas closely so as not to lose her, Remus was led into the kitchen. The entirety of it was filled to the brim with booze and five or six more people, who were chatting by the fridge or snack bar or getting more to drink. (Remus noted that the kitchen table was lined with what had to be more than sixty water bottles. There was a sign that was written in most likely red sharpie that read: HYDRATION STATION in surprisingly neat block lettering.) 

When she got to the kitchen counter, Dorcas turned to face Remus. Grabbing two red plastic cups, she asked, “What do you want to drink?”

“Tea?” Remus replied. He gave her a flash of a toothy smile when she swatted at his arm. “Okay, fine. I’ll have whatever you’re having, minus the alcohol.”

“So you just want tomato juice?” 

He purses his lips is disgust. “You’re having a Bloody Mary?” Remus asked. “Yuck.”

“I offer to make you a drink and you critique my tastes. Is that how it’s gonna be?” 

Remus huffed a laugh. “Yeah, that is how it’s going to be when you’re making Bloody Marys. I thought you were better than that.” 

“Remus, love,” Dorcas says, squeezing a lime wedge into the tomato juice and vodka. “Nobody is better than a Bloody Mary.” 

He rolled his eyes. “I’m just going to have some water from the, uh, Hydration Station.” 

Dorcas snorted and reached for the pepper shaker. “You go do that.”

Remus nodded his head awkwardly and spun on his heel. Striding across the room to the dining room table and nearly ran into someone. He apologized and let them pass by him before he snatched a water bottle and turned to walk back to the kitchen counter to talk to Dorcas, but someone else had gotten there before him and had apparently struck up an animated conversation with her. So he leant on the dining room table, unscrewed the cap of the water bottle and took a drink. He figured if he stood there long enough, the person would eventually finish their conversation with her and walk off to the next person. 

When five minutes had passed and Dorcas and her friend were still talking with seemingly no end in sight, Remus had already finished his first bottled water and was on his second. Just as he was getting nervous that he might look funny to other people as he was standing beside a table, drinking water of all things at a party, making no effort whatsoever to engage in any kind of conversation with fellow partygoers, a blonde haired girl walked up to him. She had two red cups in her hands and a nervous smile on her face. 

“You look like you could use a drink.” She extended her right hand out towards Remus, offering him the drink. Remus didn’t know what else to do but accept the drink, so that’s what he did. 

“Cheers.”

“I’m Mary. What’s your name?”

“Remus.” 

“Well, Remus, you look like you’d rather be just about anywhere but here right now.” Mary shifted so she was standing on Remus’ right hand side. 

“Home, more like it. Where it’s toasty and quiet.” 

Mary smiles sympathetically. “Me, too. I’m only here because my girlfriend asked me to. I don’t know how to tell her no,” chuckled Mary. She took a drink of the mysterious substance in her cup and swallowed. Remus felt obligated to drink whatever it was that she got him, so he lifted the cup to his lips and took the tiniest of sips. Sweet and red and it tasted like there was almost no alcohol in it, but Remus knew otherwise, as it burned the back of his throat while sliding down into his stomach, where it sloshed uneasily. He didn’t do too well with alcohol. “She’s on the couch talking to Lily right now, so I figured I’d make myself useful and get us drinks when I saw you standing in the corner over here like a concentrated ball of anxiety or something.”

“Yeah, I, uh, came here under the impression that it was going to be a significantly smaller party.” Rems said back. 

Mary gave him an incredulous look. “Dude, no party thrown by the boys is small.” She continued to stare at him like this was obvious information and he was crazy to think otherwise. “Like. Ever.”

“The boys?” Asked Remus dumbly. 

“Yeah! James, Sirius, and Peter. Oh, my god. That reminded me that they used to call themselves the Marauders or something like that in primary. They had codenames and everything.” Mary paused. “I think that they actually still call each other by their codenames sometimes. Huh. I’ll have to pay more attention.” 

Remus, not quite caring to know the background of the boys that threw the party and more interested in finding the person who brought him here as he noticed she was now gone from the kitchen, peaked as much as he could past Mary without her knowing that he wasn’t paying much attention to what she was saying. 

“Do you want another drink?” Snapped Remus out of his hunt for Dorcas. 

“Sorry?”

“I meant that it’s okay if you don’t like the cowboy koolaid. It is super sweet. It took me a while to get used to, so I don’t blame you if you’d rather drink something else.” She said. 

“Oh, no, it’s fine. Thank you, though.” Remus took another drink, and, forgetting that he was trying not to drink any liquor, took a swig from his cup. It burned a little less this time, enough for his preoccupied mind to pass as unimportant information, so he took another drink to please Mary. 

And that was when it all went to shit. He remembers not a single thing after that. Its like one of those scenes that you saw in a movie where the protagonist has one fruity cocktail and all of a sudden it cuts to a scene where it’s a crazy party and the main character is in the middle of it, grinding up on some guy and her makeup is all smudged and it looks like she’d be been crying at some point in a crappy bathroom stall before going back out and getting another drink. It’s like him taking that second full drink of whatever the sugary red concoction was completely TKO’d him. He was down for the count. And he wasn’t getting up for a while. 

So Remus polished off what was left of his drink in two large gulps and asked sweet old Mary to grab him another. And so she did. 

It was filled up halfway this time, but Remus figured that if he got thirsty again he’d just ask for more or get it himself. He doesn’t know what he’s here for, but he knew for damn certain that he was going to have a good time. 

Who cared that Dorcas brought him to this stupid party and went off with some other person when she knows that he doesn’t like being in social settings alone. 

He’d show her that he could have a good time without following her like a duckling does a mother goose. 

Mary spoke to him but all he heard was static because, shh, don’t tell her, but he really isn’t listening to her anymore. He’d snap back into as much of a reality as he could in his altered state of mind to nod or laugh with her before she launched into the next story. (Seemed like all she needed, too, was a little bit of liquor to loosen her lips. Because boy was she a chatter box when she opened up.) Remus vaguely processed her leaving to get a bottle of water, and, like an unattended toddler, he wandered off into the living room to explore the scene. 

Still a ton of people crowding the room, maybe a few less than when he had gotten there, but they all were happily chatting and laughing or playing games. (The coffee table was now a huge mess of people playing a game of Cards Against Humanity.) He continued to the other side of the room and to the fireplace, which lie unlit and surrounded by built-in bookshelves jam packed with books of all sorts. Remus leaned on the shelving because his footwork was sloppy and uncoordinated and he attempted at reading some book titles. He grabbed one that he had heard of but, shockingly, never read before and cracks open the spine. He flips through to page one and starts there, but he can’t keep his mind on the subject at hand, not to mention that he can’t finish the first sentence without messing up somewhere and giggling to himself at the errors his mind created. He decides to read some other book titles, so he closed the one in his hands and tucked it under his left arm protectively. 

And then a brilliant idea comes to his mind. Like, the most brilliant idea to ever brilliant. More brilliant than the lightbulb. More brilliant than the printing press. More brilliant, dare he say, than sliced bread. 

Remus Lupin was going to commit his first real theft. (And by first “real theft,” he meant not a piece of gum that he took when he was five years old and didn’t quite understand the meaning of stealing and how it was bad. His mum turned the car around and made Remus give the gum back to the cashier, who only laughed and said it was okay.) He’s going to steal some random bloke’s books and his drunk mind was giddy with the thought. 

“You like books?” Came a voice beside Remus that he didn’t notice was there. Remus jumped, nearly dropping the book in his hands, and whipped his head towards the voice a little too fast. His head swam. 

“Uh, yeah. I looove reading,” he slurred like the nervous and drunk mess that he was. “Do you think someone’d notice if I stole a couple?” And he doesn’t realize he’s said it out loud until the guy next to him laughed rather loudly.

“Nah. I say go for it.” He had this mischievous glint in his eyes that made Remus want to step back and consider what he was about to do, but, alas, he’s drunk, and stealing a few books sounds like a right idea. “You’ve had some of Peter’s cowboy koolaid, haven’t you?” The Man asked without missing a beat.

Remus had to think, and, no, he doesn’t remember drinking anything, but he also doesn’t remember how he got wherever he is. He has one thing on his mind and that’s how he’s going to get away with an armful of books without anyone noticing. The Man is still looking at him, as if waiting for an answer, and Remus remembers that he asked him something. He furrowed his brow. “What the fuck is cowboy koolaid?”

The laugh that The Man gives this time is rather like a loud bark and Remus startled. Remus took a good long moment to give the dude a look over, and boy is he glad he did. He may be out of his mind drunk, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t appreciate beauty when he sees it. His hair was long, about shoulder length, and tied up in a black knot on the back of his head rather attractively. His cheekbones are so sharp Remus thinks he could cut his lips on them if he were to kiss him. (But Remus totally wasn’t thinking about kissing him. Never.) His nose was a little bit long and narrow, but it worked on his face. Remus figured that they’re about the same height, and almost as skinny, but if the way the shirt fits over his biceps tells Remus anything, it’s that he’s got a lot more muscle than Remus himself does. Remus’ kind of skinny is more from years of malnutrition and getting sick easily. This man’s skinny is of the muscular sort. Remus had a feeling that he played football for school before going to Uni. (If he even went to Uni.) 

“It’s some American drink that Pete found on Pinterest or some shit. Lots of Everclear, Mountain Dew, and I think lemonade.”

Remus pursed his lips. “I don’t trust the Americans. They drink cold tea,” he spit bitterly. 

His response only made The Man grin. “My name is Sirius. Have you thought about which books you’re going to take?” He asked humorously. 

Remus looked over his should conspiratorially before leaning closer to Sirius and whispering in heavy words, “I was thinking... thinking about The Taming of the Shrew.” 

“Out of everything on that shelf and you want to take some Shakespeare?” Sirius snorted. 

Remus looked at him, offended. “Shakespeare knows how to write some draaaaaaama... so dramatic.” 

“I guess you’re right. Star-crossed lovers and all that jazz, yeah?” His lips quirked. 

“Yes. Exactly like that. You get it.” A pause. Then: “But I was also going to take that book all the way up there. I can’t read it from here but it’s super duper pretty looking. So. It has to be good.”

“I thought there was saying that went ‘don’t judge a book by its cover,’ or something to that effect.” 

“Oh, hushhh, you.” Remus pointed a finger at Sirius. He set down the book he was holding and mounted a foot onto the bookcase, ready to climb it to grab the worn red book he saw at the top. He swayed dangerously and Sirius’ hands shot out to hover behind his back, mere inches away, bracing for his weight in case he were to fall. 

“I don’t think that that’s such a good idea. Let me grab it,” he said quickly. But Remus was having none of it. He climb up to the next row and his finger ghosted over the spine of the book before he clutched onto it and jumped off of the shelf. He waved the book under Sirius’ nose. 

“I got it. I don’t need any help from anybody. I’m an independent person, you know.”

Sirius looked bewildered before cracking a grin. “Oh, is that so?” He questioned. 

“Yes, it absolutely completely utterly stupidly for surely is.” 

“Mhm. Why don’t we go sit on the couch to finish this conversation?” Sirius let Remus snatch up the book he set down before guiding him over to the couch. It was soft to Remus, who had a decent couch back at his flat, but not nearly nice as this. Sirius didn’t sit with him, and, oddly enough, the couch was severely empty. Remus wondered when that had happened. 

“I could go to sleep right here,” he murmured. 

Sirius only grabbed the throw from the back of the couch and tossed it on him. Remus pulled both books closer to his chest and latex down, his eyes closing long before his head hit the arm of the couch. “I’ll be back soon. I just have to make sure some other people get home safely.” But Remus was already sleeping and did not hear Sirius say this. 

 

XXX

 

It took Sirius forty-seven minutes to chase the last few partygoers out of the front door and check on James and Peter, who were respectively laying on their sides in their own rooms. He crept back into the living room and gently shook a sleeping Remus, who woke at the first contact. 

“Wuzzat?” He asked. 

“Where do you live? I’ll drive you there.” Sirius said slowly and softly. 

“I should feed my c-c-cat,” Remus yawned and laid back down. 

“No, where do you live?” 

Remus only shrugged and turned over so his back was facing Sirius. “Mate, if you don’t tell me, I’m going to have to fish your cell out of your front pocket.” Sirius warned. When there was no reply, Sirius sighed and spoke again. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” And so he rolled a sleeping Remus over and spotted the outline of a phone in his front right pocket. Sirius gingerly fished it out. He held down the home button. “Siri, take me home.” 

“You will need to unlock your iPhone first.” Came the reply of a monotone Siri. Sirius grumbled at her and grabbed Remus’ right hand first to check his thumb. It blessedly unlocked and the phone opened into maps, displaying the quickest route to Remus’ flat. “Awesome. Let’s get you loaded up into the car and we’ll get you home.” He gave Remus a shove to wake back up and help him onto his feet. It was a hassle to get him downstairs and he almost crashed in the lift and fell down the steps outside of the building, but Sirius finally got him into the passenger seat safe and sound. (He even buckled him just in case.) “Alright, mate. Let’s do this.” 

The drive there was actually pretty quick considering that there was next to no traffic due to the late time of night. It was twenty minutes at most and Sirius spent all of them singing to the 90s radio station on a low volume. He kept a steady beat and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. Finding a parking spot was surprisingly easy and Sirius unloaded Remus from the car. He picked his pocket again and found the house key and his license, which identified him as one Remus Lupin. That made locating what floor his flat was on a lot easier as he only has to find his last name on the buzzers. He unlocked the gate and helped Remus, who was now talking about an English paper he had to finish before midnight on Wednesday, and both boys stumbled their way to Remus’ floor. Sirius steered Remus inside and laid him on his own couch, which was in an open-layout flat. It was nice, if not a little dingy. But it looked to be taken care of and clean. And then a meow was Sirius’ only warning before an orange and white cat appeared out of thin air and jumped up onto the couch. It pressed its face into Remus’ as if expecting him to pet the top of its head. When he didn’t, the cat turned around and jumped off of the couch with attitude and flair before turning a corner into what was probably a bedroom. (Sirius didn’t want to snoop around his house, so that’s why he opted for putting Remus down on his couch. He was sure that the dude would appreciate it in the morning.) 

Sirius chuckled at the enormous cat and added Remus’ number to his phone so he could text him that he was leaving his flat keys in the mailbox so he could lock the door on his way out. He checked a sleeping Remus one last time to make sure he was on his side and left the flat to drive back to his own place. He bid Remus a goodnight and closed the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. Tell me how it was in the comments?

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope that you guys liked this. Comment on some things I could’ve done better, maybe? Also, I’ve made Dorcas Indian because I didn’t know if she was white or black or what, so I’ve gone with Indian. The HP series needs more POC anyways so I thought it wouldn’t hurt anything.


End file.
